Up UP Away ...

Here is some PSYCHO UPS...

 

>> Lovers of the English language might enjoy this.....
>>
>>
>> There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than
>>any other two-letter word, and that word is "UP."
>>
>> It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the
>>top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake
>>UP ?
>>
>> At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP a
>>and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the
>>secretary to write UP a report?
>>
>>
>>
>> We call UP our friends And we use it to brighten UP a room,
>>polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the
>>kitchen.
>>We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
>>
>> At other times the little word has real special meaning.People
>>stir up trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and
>>think UP
>>excuses.
>>
>> To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
>>And this up is confusing:
>>
>> A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP
>>
>> We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
>>We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
>>
>> To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word
>>UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP
>>almost
>>1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions
>>
>> If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the
>>many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if
>>you
>>don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
>>
>> When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun
>>comes out we say it is clearing UP . When it rains, it wets UP
>>the
>>earth.
>>
>>
>> When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .
>>
>> One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is
>>UP , so.............
>>
>> Time to shut UP ....!

 

get back to work.....

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Just for laugh!

The Equation:

7 Glance = 1 Smile

7 Smile = 1 Meeting

7 Meeting = 1 Kiss

7 Kisses = 1 Proposal

7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -

And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.

So beware of glance!
__________________________________________________________
Plan For Future:

Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?

Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.

Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.

Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.

Ravi : I want 2 help Deepa.
______________________________________________________________
Exams:

Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;

1,Too Many Questions.

2,Difficult to Understand.

3,More Explanation is Needed.

4,Result is always FAIL!

______________________________________________________________
Liar:

A man is dying of Cancer.

His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of
AIDS?"

Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom”
___________________________________________________________________
Delivered:

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report
came to his phone and he started dancing. The report
said, "DELIVERED".
_____________________________________________________________________
Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is
pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Ultimate comments....... enjoy

1980 girls: Maa mei Jeans pehanungi

Maa : Nahin beti log kya kahengey ?

2006 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi

Maa: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!

   

Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?

Dono ne kapde tyag diye,

ek ne desh ke liye,

doosre ne Deshwasion  ke liye!

     

     

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,

Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,

Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,

Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai

     

Judge: U r crossing the limits.

Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?

Judge: How dare you call me saala?

Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?  (my favorite)

     

     

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.

Saheb: Kal aana.

Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon

rupaye fase huye hain.       (my favorite)

 

     

FOOL se, FOOL ne,

FOOLon ki FOOLwari me

FOOL ke sath wish kiya '

You are the most beautiFOOL,

colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS

     

What do u call a woman in heaven?

An Angel.

A crowd of woman in heaven?

A host of Angels.

And all woman in heaven?

PEACE ON EARTH!

     

What's the diff between Dava & Daru?

Dava is like girlfriend,

that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,

Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

     

A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.

What did they named them?

They named them as 'Jo-hua', 'So-Hua'

     

     

What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.

     

     

Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.

Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

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